I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
