its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
