Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
