why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
