in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
