how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
