Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
