I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
