If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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