I hate all girls vehemently.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
