My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize