how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Shame - the story of my life.
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