Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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