don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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