The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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