so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
