I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
