Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
