he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize