You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize