You're my little dorito
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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