I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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