bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
