Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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