My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
