carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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