No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
