Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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