As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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