Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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