I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
