did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
