ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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