I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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