Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
