you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
