Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
