Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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