come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
