Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize