I cockslap morals
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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