; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
