the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I will be naked everywhere
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
