i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
