Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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