We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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