We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
