I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
