Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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