Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
