He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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