Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
