our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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