the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
