i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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