My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize